They say that once we sign our names on that dotted line, things will change. Being together for 9 years…what can really be different afterwards?
Here are my biggest relationship changes after getting married:
1. We address each other differently “My husband”/new last name
I was at the school board for one of my clients and I remember a receptionist calling out my former name as a joke (I had to scratch out my last name and put my new one so, the form looked crazy) and I acknowledged him in a heartbeat and he yelled out “ohhh I’m telling your husband, that’s not your name!” We laughed so hard. My new name was a huge adjustment. I finally got the hang of it 2 months later! (lol)
2. “When are you having kids” questions
Honestly, it was cute for a while but then the questions became exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun topic especially if you know that you want kids but sometimes the talk, the same talk and the same response becomes too much.
3. “Me” means “We”
Selfish thinking is for the birds. Any and every concern is now a discussion before making the decision solo. Less arguments equal more thought out discussions that honestly have a more positive ending regardless if the topic is agreeable or not.
4. Confidence booster
I felt more beautiful, even on my not so cute days. I felt like I had this man that loved me unconditionally and something about being asked to be his wife in the first place just felt GOOD. It’s a huge commitment so, I take serious pride in my new status. I literally feel on top of the world in a power couple.
5. Working harder
In this world, success is the dream and with success comes money but more importantly…happiness. We both seem to hustle more than we ever have before. We both have thought of being more innovative as we create our future and thanfully, we’re both on board for that.
6. Open to new experiences
We always find ourselves exploring new places, new activities and trying different foods. Our interests evolved for the better and we feel even more connected based on the new things that we try to together.
7. Spending money differently
Frugal is in, purge spending is out! I see the grocery store more than I see my mall or online boutique. Of course, those random moments of pampering myself are needed but done wisely. We’ve also decided to have a joint account and personal accounts. A percentage of our earnings get transferred into the joint account. Neither of us can touch that account until a big purchase that reflects some value into our lives comes about.
8. No secrets
There’s something about being honest that feels so damn good. This ties into communicating successfully. Being open with my partner no matter the level of seriousness elevated the relationship for the better x10. We want to leave less room for insecurities and more room for building more confidence within the relationship.
9. Technology habits
Less interactions on our phones helps our marriage a lot. We communicate more than we ever had. I can’t believe we never thought of that before as we dated.
10. Finding time for our friends
Find the time to still have a girls/guy’s night. Doesn’t have to be every weekend. But it was important to remember that my support system wasn’t only my husband. Be around others that support your union and your friendship. Have a dinner date with your mom or go to brunch with the squad. Balance is profound. Don’t feel guilty about spending time apart.
11. Not going to bed upset
Back in the day I kept my pride high and was not the first to apologize. Talking through any issues, small or big and working them out before bed makes sleeping less of a toss and turn hassle. So much on the mind before your body is at rest gets… complicated. Talk calmly so both voices can be heard and your thought process is less impulsive.
12. Holiday decisions
Family has gotten bigger. Much bigger. Choosing whose family to visit during the holidays can sometimes play a big role with making sure the in laws aren’t blowing up your phone with complaints so, take turns yearly or split up the day if you’re in laws aren’t too far away.
13. More responsibilities
Two major things: Taking care of each other when sick (bedrest) and holding down the fort with bills if a partner took some non-paid sick days or non-paid holiday breaks.
14. “Us” time
Quality time together can be sitting at home cooking together to having date nights in a unique restaurant. Compromising is also a huge benefit when having alone time. Take turns picking out the movie, peak into your partner’s interest from time to time.
15. Invested in your health more
I want to be around my husband and family for years and years to come and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me. Head to the grocery store and invest in those veggies, fruits, healthy snacks and herbs. needing no medication to stay afloat.